Accepting Responsibility

You hear the term, accepting responsibility, but what does it really entail? When I accept responsibility, I accept that I had a part in the situation or circumstance that is affecting my life.  I am accepting that I allowed or participated whether directly or indirectly, in the activity in question.  I accept responsibility for the people I allow in my circle, for the circumstances I allow to occur, for the treatment I am allowing myself to undergo.

We each have a choice.  We choose to stand up for ourselves or to sit down to an injustice.  We choose the people in our lives, whether they are worth keeping or ones to shake (throw out).  We choose the road we go down.  We choose what to wear, what to eat, to do right or to do wrong.  The one thing that God has granted each of us is the gift of free will.  No one can make us do anything that we don’t want to.  There are always consequences to our actions, realize that everything that we do has consequences.  We have to acknowledge that we are solely responsible for the choices in our lives.  We cannot blame others for the choices we have made.  As we choose the path we are going to take, we have to take into consideration the consequence, or the outcome of our action.  We then decide if our choice is worth the risk.  Sometimes we weigh out the risk; it’s called a calculated risk.  For me, I had risked it all for what I thought was love.  My decision wasn’t thought out, nor was it calculated, it just was a situation that I allowed to become.  Was it worth it for me? Absolutely not.  I thought about my future, but my distorted thoughts would only enable me to see the illusion, not the reality.  I envisioned living this great life with someone, but this someone was not such a great person so how could our life be so great?  I overlooked his faults.  I minimized and even covered, or made excuses for his actions.  I closed my eyes and became blind to who and what he really was and about.  There was nothing that was so bad that we couldn’t workout, or shall I say I couldn’t fix.  Because throughout my life, I’ve always been the savior, the one to “help” or  “fix” everyone’s problems.  This was the role that I was given as a young child, the rescuer, this was where I fit into people’s lives.  I associated love with being needed.  If I couldn’t be of help in someone’s life, I didn’t feel like they liked or loved me.  So I always volunteered my services to help everyone, and eventually everyone always knew that they could count on me having the answers or the solution to their need or problems. Subconsciously, I’ve always seeked out and attracted “needy people”.  What you see in yourself, is what you project in the world around you. I guess I had a strong attraction for dysfunction, because I was dysfunctional.  Obviously, this type of relationship will begin to take a heavy toll on you, and at what point is enough, enough? 

For me, my breaking point came when I nearly lost it all.  I lost my business, my dignity, my sanity, my money, my pride, and almost my family.  I was incarcerated for a crime that I did not commit.  I had never been arrested. I didn’t even have a traffic ticket on my record.  This was a calamity for me.  I believe that everything happens for a reason though.  There’s a scripture found in Amos, chapter 5 that says, “Search for what is good, and not for what is bad…”, this was an opportunity for me to reevaluate my life, accept responsibility for how I allowed and chose to let this affect me.  By doing this, I began empowering myself.  My whole life, I enabled others to have power or control over me.  I was accepting the events and circumstances in my life with gratitude, understanding that all things work together and happen for the good, regardless to how we perceive things to be at the moment in time. By accepting responsibility I was empowering myself.  By accepting that it was all brought on by me, it meant that I had the power to create the solution.  I was the one with the problem.  When you blame others for anything in your life that you’re not happy about, your giving them the power to create, or destroy, your happiness.  With that, I worked on developing myself. I acknowledged my faults and flaws, and I worked to improve my circumstances, I worked on my self- esteem.  Accepting responsibility for your actions and your life is one of the most important aspects of personal development and as you develop personally; your esteem begins to rise.  I began recognizing my feelings, and doing things for me, rather than everyone else.  I grew spiritually. With this growth, I found happiness.